Why do so many moms get so much bigger than they were before they had children? Why isn’t their own health a priority in their lives? Surely they know that eating well and getting exercise is the best model for the welfare of their children. Why, it’s the foundation of good parenting! What’s wrong with people?
I ADMIT IT. I SHAMELESSLY JUDGED PEOPLE LIKE THIS BEFORE I HAD PITTER.
You’re starting to like me less and less the more you read, aren’t you?
Now I know that even though I fit into the same pre-preggo clothes four months after giving birth to Pitter, it was only because I was too cross-eyed exhausted for the real frustrations and fatigue of being a mother to set in. I exercised often last summer after having Pitter, although less hardily with my new mom-mom bod. My mantra was this: It helps with fatigue! It helps with regulating my mood! It’s a way to pass the time! I was chipper about it. I had high hopes that I’d be a triathlon-mommy like those beautiful women I saw in their Speedos, holding toddlers on their hips right before the races I ran in my twenties. I can be like that, I thought! Why, even after the Chicago mini-triathlon bronchitis-debacle, I still have this idea that I could train for and run a half-marathon here in Indy near the end of October.
Ha, I say. HA. I have screws loose!
The months press on.
Still not enough sleep
Still not enough time with my husband
Still not enough time alone
Still too many illnesses
Still too far away from friends
Still not living in any one of the 43 other states I’d rather live in (because there are a handfull as dreadful–if not more so–than this one)
Still not working a meaningful job
Still tired. Still weary of every day ahead of me.
Sometimes I can muster the oomph for the run pick up a free weight and lift it over my head a few times. Sometimes I can get Pitter to sleep, ignore m husband during the one hour a day we have alone, and selfishly, dizzily, attempt some yoga before I pass out. But sometimes? It’s easier to eat half a box of chocolate cookies. It’s easier to order a pizza after eating takeout Chinese food the night before.
It’s easier to kill time/search for physical comfort/self-flagellate with food. I get it now. Exercise and eating well are priorities to me. And yet…it’s become so much harder.
Less judgemental commenatary running through my head begins now.
