Fine. My mother suggested this long ago–past Pitter’s early infancy when it was the obvious thing to do–and so I’ve been going to bed early. Very early. For the last week I’ve felt like a five year old, dragging myself up the stairs with Pitter at 7:45 to go to sleep. Both of us. I feel like a naughty girl who has been sent to bed without a story, without a kiss, like I am being punished and am not allowed to have time to myself because I need to go to beddie bye now.
I nurse Pitter in his double bed for a while, and then tolerate his OCD acrobatic routine for half an hour in the dark which entails readjusting, pulling at the blankets, flipping around in circles, and cooing at the stuffed bears. I take deep breaths. I let him climb on me, paw my hair, spoon against my torso. Sweet Cheeks is watching TV downstairs or reading, like a normal adult in the early evening hours, and I take deep breaths. I hate him a little. But my eyes get heavy and by 8:30 Pitter and I are fast asleep together.
And you know what? Even though Pitter still wakes me up at midnight, two, three-thirty, five and then maybe sleeps until 6, I feel fine. I’ve been in bed for ten hours, and although the dream of uninterrupted sleep is still but a dream, I haven’t felt this non-sleep deprived since, well, I can’t remember. Maybe all of this extra sleep is why I’ve been able to drop a few pounds over the last week and a half without much effort, during Thanksgiving. Has my metabolism been sluggish because I haven’t been getting enough sleep? It’s hard to believe I would see results so quickly. I think it’s more likely that I’ve been natually eating less because I’m not as tired, which means I’m not looking for false energy in carbs.
Last week’s news about the sleep study for new mothers did strike a chord for me when I first read it. Here’s my favorite section:
Women who slept seven hours a night or more lost more weight, they reported in the American Journal of Epidemiology.
The researchers acknowledged this may pose a dilemma to new mothers, given that infants sleep so fitfully.
“With the results of this study, new mothers must be wondering, ‘How can I get more sleep for both me and my baby?’ Our team is working on new studies to answer this important question,” said Dr. Matthew Gillman of Harvard Medical School and Harvard Pilgrim Health Care.
Our team is working on new studies to answer this important question. Soooo hepful, Dr. Gillman. Really. Thanks a bunch. I can answer it for you: go to bed with your child! Who cares if what’s left of your shredded identity, relationship with your spouse, and physical and mental life is completely decimated while you head off to La La Land with your baby at 8 pm each night? Your identity was an overrated figment of your imagination anyway, your husband can always resort to porn, your body is a mess of plugged ducts from getting so much additional sleep face-down on your mattress and hasn’t felt sexy for years, and the few social interactions you have with real adults involve exchanging money for food, not intellectual debate over whether it’s more historically imortant that a woman or a black man become president first. Who needs to read the paper?
Bitter? Just a little.
