I’ve been longing to implement this night weaning plan, which I found via the Ask Moxie site many moons ago. It’s designed for our exact situation: weaning an older baby who co-sleeps and is used to nursing for a few minutes every time he wakes up in the night. We’re actually already past the first stage (which took us at least three weeks rather than three days), where I stop feeding Pitter before he is completely asleep when I put him to bed, as well as when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I no longer allow myself to fall asleep while he’s nursing–I let him at it for a few minutes to calm down and then I make him roll over slightly awake and fall back asleep. Last night was one of the first nights I refused to nurse Pitter at all when he woke up for the second time at 3:30. I snuggled with him and after whining for a full half hour, he finally fell back asleep. It sucked because he didn’t. Har. My plan is to cut out one of the 2-3 nursing sessions each night for a few more nights, and then refuse all of them by the end of next week. Why the rush? Because after Christmas, we’re leaving Pitter with my parents for 4 nights and 5 days. I think the first-time abandonment will be tough enough on his psyche to not load on missing night nursing. If we can reduce his expectation of Mama’s boob in the dark hours enough, I’m hoping life will be slightly easier for him and my mother. He’s going to be asking for Booth enough during the day–I think it will drive him and my parents over the edge if we haven’t done any of this hard work beforehand. Of the many things I wish I had been told (or understood?) as I made choices about early parenting, is the fact that baby-led/nursing on demand breastfeeding will require, at some later point, difficult training for mom and baby. For the first 12-15 months I think that nursing on demand served Pitter well, even if it drove me crazy at times–because it fostered a real sense of trust and affection between us. But now that he’s past nutritionally requiring breastmilk to the rate he requests it, I feel like letting him take the lead in the past has just spoiled him. And so now I have a spoiled toddler I have to train to act differently.
December 15, 2007...8:54 am
Operation Night Wean
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6 Comments
December 15, 2007 at 11:18 am
I so feel for you with this: “Of the many things I wish I had been told (or understood?) as I made choices about early parenting…”
One of ours was swaddling. Bean responded so well to a tight swaddle that we used one all the time (when he actually let us put him down, that is). At 6 months old, he still required the comfort of one to lie down on his own, but he could easily break free of the blanket no matter what I did. My thoughts went to duct tape more than once (sleep deprivation can make some pretty crazy things sound halfway-okay) so I had to teach him how to fall asleep without the swaddle by holding him tightly next to me. God/dess forbid if I fell asleep as well and loosened the hug at all. It took a lot of time and crying. I felt like I would go mental. I would have never bothered if knew I would have to wean him from the technique that was meant to help!
December 15, 2007 at 11:22 am
p.s. I think your situation is a damn fine example of dedicated parenting, even if it’s making you nuts right now. You haven’t spoiled him and I bet the time with your mom is going to go very well. He’s prolly going to “get it” and adapt very quickly.
December 16, 2007 at 7:25 pm
The duct tape idea is hysterical! I probably would have been looking at the hooks on the bungee cords in our car trunk and wondering just how harmful they could be if I wrapped the baby tight with them. Thanks for the reminder that we all have our own crosses to bear with this madness…
December 17, 2007 at 7:27 am
Aren’t there a billion things we wish someone had told us about parenting?? I think it’s great that you’re being so thoughtful about the night-weaning. That way, he knows that even though he isn’t getting the same kind of comfort, you are still able to comfort him with cuddles. It will make things better for both of you.
My little sweetie doesn’t have the night-nursing or swaddling issues, but she does have an inability to fall asleep well in my arms. That is not fun when we’re at church. And she screams. And people in the cry room wonder if I’m pinching her or something.
*sigh*
December 27, 2007 at 3:48 pm
[...] this naturally leads us to Operation Nightwean , which of course, is not going well. Not well at all. Pitter is waking up as often if not more than [...]
April 15, 2009 at 8:43 am
Hey, nice tips. Perhaps I’ll buy a bottle of beer to the man from that forum who told me to visit your blog