Hearts and Hijinks

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In the spirit of the “Holiday” I give you the following brief tales. Chuckle at will.

1.One of Sweet Cheeks’ crazier, best, and oldest friends is getting married in Florida in April. A few weeks ago he called Sweet Cheeks to ask for the address of another old friend, to whom he wanted to send a wedding invitation. Sweet Cheeks and the engaged friend are part of a high school crew of truly sick, nutjob, jokey individuals. A college friend of Sweet Cheeks who has witnessed several reunions of SW and this group of high school friends once said, in his thick Bawstahn accent, “Ehh? What’s up with you guys from Jersey? All you do is hump eachawther when you get togethah!”

Because they do. They act like dogs in heat, slapping eachother’s backs, jumping on eachother, acting like a bunch of ninnys. It’s a lot of fun.  Also, a bit offensive. Enough said. They’re nuts.

So. When Sweet Cheeks provided the address for the invitation, he emailed Engaged Guy with the following details:

Friend’s Name

135 MILF(My Name : Eve)ORD Avenue

Boston, MA zip code

The joke, of course, is that the real name of the street is Milford Avenue. But I, Sweet Cheeks’ wife, am the MILF in his life. Ha ha. Sure. And awww, isn’t that sweet? I’m still the one and only MILF in his life. That’s better than jewelry, baby.

Engaged Guy got the joke, loved it, thanked Sweet Cheeks for his brilliant humor, and passed along the address invitation to the calligrapher sending out the invitations.

On Monday, Engaged Guy called Sweet Cheeks to tell him that their friend’s invitation had been returned because there was no such street. Engaged Guy completely confused the calligrapher with the address, who in turn wrote on the front of the invitation, in gilded letters:

135 Eveord Avenue

Brilliance, indeed.

Now Engaged Guy is freaking out because the invitation is going to be terribly late and he’s worried his friend will think she’s on the “B” list or something. Silly boys.

2. On our drive to Pitter’s daycare this morning, we passed a Walgreens advertising this on its billboard for Valentine’s Day:

Pringles
Passports
Don’t Forget Your Valentine!

Hey Honey! Here’s a tiny headshot of myself and a can of processed potato flakes! I lurrrrve you!

3. Pitter’s toddler class is having a Valentine’s Day party this afternoon and parents were asked to provide some snacks. So I spent an hour last night making heart shaped/rainbow sprinkled sugar cookies. For a bunch of one year olds! What is wrong with me?

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