Dear Santa

I am writing to tell you that you may need to skip our house this year. Pitter’s regular naughtiness is reaching new heights.
Please note:
He uses Words We Do Not Want To Hear and refuses to follow directions to leave the room and go say them somewhere else to say them (if he must), claiming that [...]

Choose Your Own Adventure

The sky is cobalt and bright/muddy and dim and I awake to Patter’s giggly squee/Pitter’s sing-song “Time to get up!” I am ready for it/head-achy/energized/exhausted after a night of two/three/four?! interruptions. Downstairs we change diapers, make coffee, and peel bananas. This is always the same.
We go to the Children’s Museum/The Zoo/the local Library/the local playground/the [...]

Twentieth Century, Go to Sleep

Ten years ago the fish cook at the restaurant on Harvard Avenue told me I would find love again.
You will fall in love and you will get married and have children.
A prophecy.
But that summer of 1999 I danced alone and raged alone and devoured that past of ours with a despair I hadn’t known was possible.
Thank you [...]

Tired Metaphor (Because I am nothing if not TIRED)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Here we are, a week and a half ago, rafting in the wilds of British Columbia, guided by George, Russell, and Kyle, our safety guide in his trusty kayak.
Pam Houston writes some excellent short stories and essays about being a white-water rafting guide and how running rivers  is akin to navigating life.
The tremendous folk singer Utah [...]

This crap was not in the brochure

Perhaps you have heard? I am a Bad Mommy.
Examples:
It is fu8king bullsh*t that don’t follow all of the “beautiful Volkswagon beagles” and PT Cruisers that pass our way on the road. 
When a truck across the street makes a scary, loud sound, it is my fault. Daddy will be informed that I am a “bad girl.”
I [...]