And you thought waiting 3 weeks for a blog post from me was annoying

(Dear Diary)
March 22, 1987
Hi! You haven’t heard from me in a year! Unbelievable! I hate writing “beginner” entries, because they are so akward [sic], and I know that in a year or two, Shana and I will be rolling on the floor over them.
It is embarassing [sic], knowing that what you deeply feel at the [...]

Posts I Will Spare You

Sleeping is for Sissies and other tales of the teething
Kids Who Curse and the Mothers who tear their hair out
Babies Who Walk and the Mothers who hunch over all day while holding their hands
There Were 3 in the Bed and the Little One Said Roll Over until he fell out onto his head
Must Be Motherhood: [...]

Okay, so I do miss Twitter a little

If I hadn’t deleted my account a few weeks ago, you would have read tweets about the following over the last few days. You’re welcome! Also, are some of these > 140 characters? Well ha! They’re not real tweets! So there!:
3 shots into 1yr old’s chubby thighs = 3 minutes of crying; 1 shot into [...]

Conversations with 3 year olds

Me: Hey, listen. This is important. Do you see that on the fence?
Pitter: Yes!
Me: It’s a wasp’s nest. Let’s stay away from the fence in this part of the yard, because if we get too close, the wasps might come out of it and sting us.
Pitter: Wasps live in there?
Me: Yes. They’re making a house [...]

Adieu, Twitter.

Back in January, my pal Electrastaph said goodbye to Twitter.
I’ve been ruminating about making the same change myself since I read her reasons.
And today I’m doing it it.
So long, you devious little Iranian-elections-fund-raising-for-helpless families-political-porno-advertising-friend-ship-bearing-thoughtless-time-suck-device.
It’s been swell.