• People who want everyone to know that they once shared a cigarette with Adrien Brody in the basement bathroom.
  • People who want to see dance majors who got fat.
  • People who think it’s okay to wear their oversized flannel shirts and Doc Martens again because Urban Outfitters is selling the look.
  • People who want to pimp their new art show, their gig with Famous Traveling Rock Band, their role on Broadway, or their new film.
  • People who wish they had something to pimp.
  • People who lie that they are friends with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jennifer Aniston.
  • People who hope that one guy is there so they can apologize for not dating him just because he dressed “too Guido” and explain that they were running away from a certain stereotype by attending the Fame School in the first place and that if they had been more mature they’re pretty sure their entire high school experience would have been a happier one.
  • People who still want to live forever.

*I Will Not Be Attending My 20th High School Reunion

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